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Rugby Simplified – Part 2 (The Positions)

October 7, 2011

After a mini hiatus just like the 5 days we had without World Cup Rugby, I’ve returned with Part 2 of my 3 part post on simplifying rugby so it could be understood by laymen and especially lay-women.

This post will deal with understanding the different positions in a Rugby team. If you haven’t already, please read Part 1 – The Basics first. To most girls a Rugby Team is a bunch of well built guys in tiny shorts. Hence the attraction. But if you are actually willing to look past the tiny shorts, each of those players in their unique position has something unique to offer. Simply put you need all them to play the game, and to win all of them have to perform exceptionally well. If all of this seems to be complicated and you don’t want to really understand how all the pieces in the jig-saw-puzzle fit, just think of this post as a guide to pick the best looking guys on the team. After all, every girl has a type. So which is your type?

The most generic split in the team is :

  • 1 – 8 : Forwards : The heavier guys, who always seem to find them selves in the midst of trouble.
  • 9 – 15 : Backs : The lanky guys, who seem to run away from trouble.

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First Row

1 & 3 : Props : The most beefy guys in the team. These burly guys pack a punch and are hard to stop when they get rolling. Often found at the front of the scrum, locking their heads with the opposition. Not to be fooled by their mean looks, and always looking for a fight personality, they are very sensitive inside. The gentle giants of the team. Often get joked about sharing a ‘Hooker’ between them. So if your looking for a teddy bear with a big heart, this is your man.

2 : Hooker : Often the stockiest man in the team. The gods have truly been unkind to them in the vertical department, as well as the hair department at times. These guys often have to deal with more than their fair share of balls between their legs in a scrum. Not to mention, they are expected to get it straight in a line-out too.

Second Row

4 & 5 : Lock Forwards : The tallest blokes on the field. These lads make up the 2nd row in a scrum. Back in the day, their height was helpful when they had to jump up for the ball at line-outs. Nowadays, everyone seems to get a boost so it doesn’t really matter. Despite having their heads stuck up behind the front-row, they are known to be the power-house’s of the scrum. Hope broad shoulders is your type..

Third Row

6 & 7 : Flankers : Arguably the fittest boys on the team. There is hardly a dull day in the office for these boys, as they are found in the midst of all the action, be it They are bound loosely to the scrum like a pack of wolves ready to pounce on the opposite Scrum-Half. Gifted with the speed and agility of the back line, these lads still choose to stay and fight.

8 : No 8 : Don’t let the lack of an imaginative name for this position fool you. Those who’ve played in the position believe that it’s a form of flattery, similar to when you say ‘he needs no introduction’. Positioned at the end of the scrum, the ball is often found popping out between this chap’s legs. Similar to the Flankers these lads are found all over the field,



9 : Scrum-half : Easily the smallest guy on the team, but the loudest mouth on the field. Picture that annoying little guy whose always starting a fighting and running away from it. That’s your man. His duty is to feed the ball in to the scrum, and watch while the big boys fight it out. Be ready for the ball to pop out of the scrum, and either run like mad or pass it down the line. Being the smallest guy on the field has it’s advantages in terms of dodging tackles and being fast enough to out run your opponent.

10 : Fly-half : There is no denying that he’s the most good looking guy on the field. The only guy who carries deodorant in his kit bag, and checks him self out in a mirror before he hits the ground. Other than his looks, he’s usually known for his booming kicks. Most often than not he’s the obvious choice to make penalty kicks, and conversions. Ladies if you want this pretty face, there is a good chance that you’d have to get in line.


12 & 13 : Centers : These boys probably were flankers in their previous birth. Known for quick bursts of speed, the late nights in the gym also gives these lads the ability to give a hand-off and brush past the opposition. By chance they go down, they will be looking to offload the ball to the closest team member.


11 & 14 : Wing : The Usain Bolt‘s of the side. Often referred to as ‘Taxi‘ in Sri Lanka, not only for their speed but for their ability to weave through traffic. Positioned at each end of the back-line, think of these boys as the chaps who run the anchor lap in a relay. Besides running with the ball the most common mistake they make is dropping the said ball. Ladies, don’t be heart broken if these speed daemons, leave in a hurry.

Full back

15 : Full back : Known as the last line of defence. The basic requirements are a safe pair of hands to secure the high ball, as well as a good pair of legs to ensure good touch. Not only in defence but these chaps have good speed and play a vital part in offence as well, when they join the back-line to set up an over lap. I guess it’s safe to assume, he’s the safest guy on the field.

Hope this makes sense to the Non-Rugby affluent crowd, especially the ladies. Will catch you with Part 3, where I’ll touch on some of the terminology used in Rugby.


Rugby Simplified – Part 1 (The Basics)

September 13, 2011

Queue Drum Roll, Fanfare and the Rotten Tomatoes. From the highly plagiarised author who gave you What to Shout at Rugger Matches comes.. a three part series of Rugby Simplified.

It has been brought to my attention that there are many people out there trying to understand the great game of Rugby, and get into the midst of all the Rugby World Cup Madness. Therefore I feel it is my duty to try and simply the game, especially to those of you of the fairer sex, who see the game as a bunch of boys rolling around in the dirt.

Spirit of the Game :

So this is as simple as it gets..

Basics :

  • The ball is not round. It’s an oval.
  • Unlike Football, you can pick up the ball and run besides kicking it. (That is actually how it all started, although Wikipedia disagrees)
  • 15 big boys in a team. Some comparatively smaller.. but lets get into that in the next post.
  • Each game lasts 80 mins, with a break in the middle to enjoy a cup of Tea or grab another Beer.

Objective of the Game :

Score as many  points as possible. The team with the most points at the end of 80 mins wins. To do this, you usually have take the ball from your side of the ground, to your opponents side. The closer the ball is to the opponents goal line, easier the scoring opportunities.

The Cardinal Rule :

There are many rules in the game. Right now all you need to remember is that you can’t throw/pass the ball forward. So if you want to move the ball forward you either have to take it and run, or kick it forward.

How do you Score?

  • Try – 5 Points


This is when you take the ball, run like mad, cross the opposition’s goal line (which is at the opposite end of the ground) and keep the ball on the ground. Unfortunately there are 15 angry men on the other side, who aren’t going to make it easy for you. Which is why there is a lot of ‘trying’ involved.

  • Conversion – 2 Points


Think of this as a Bonus. If you make a try, then you are given the chance to kick the ball through the posts. If it goes through your given 2 extra points, and your Try will now be called a Goal. Ie. Goal = Try + Conversion. Problem is you can’t pick where to kick from. It will depend on which point you ground the ball for a try. Therefore it makes sense to ground the ball, closer to those posts. Tell that to the angry men of the opposition.

  • Penalty – 3 Points

Penalty Kick

When the opposition break the rules, which doesn’t include stepping on your toes, you get the opportunity to kick the ball through the posts. If it goes through you get points. Sadly no one can kick the ball in, from anywhere in the field. Therefore you got to pray like hell they make a big mistake closer to those posts!

  • Drop Goal – 3 Points

Drop Kick at Goal

This happens when your sick of ‘trying’ and your close enough to kick the ball at the posts, and the opposition doesn’t look like their gonna make a mistake any time soon. If you make the kick and it goes through the post.. Points! This is kinda like taking matters into your own hands, except with the foot.

Images courtesy of :

Stay tuned for the second post of the series, where we’ll look at the full circle of player positions and their kinky/funny names like Hooker, Fly-half. 😉

Ladies, if all of this still flew over your head. Don’t worry your pretty heads about it, like my friend said think of Rugby as Gods gift to women. Big boys in Tiny shorts. . Who can argue with that? Although there might be a few, who find that the shorts aren’t tiny enough. 😉

Grease Yaka – In Russia

September 7, 2011

So the quick peep to check whether it’s sunny outside from under the little rock I’ve been hiding didn’t go well. I was spotted by a few, more than those who left comments. Guess I have to thank Google for that snazzy RSS reader. Larry, Sergey it works.

So now that I’ve been caught in the act, guess the next thing to do is post a follow up? The question is, what do I talk about?

I know Grease Yaka is pretty old news now since the guy has fallen off the radar, or did he run into a white van? Either way the following video got me wondering whether the so called Grease Yaka migrated to greener pastures.

In all seriousness, it’s funny how a guy can get away with groping 1000 women in one country and be labelled something totally different in another.

So my challenge to this Russian dude with Balls, is try pulling this same stunt in an Arabic country. 🙂

Me signing off.

Student of Life

August 24, 2011

So I had this moment.. You know when everything stands still, and there is this moment of clarity and it hits you in the face.

No matter how many exams we pass, and graduate from the various educational activities we undertake, we’ll always be a student. A student of Life.

Some of us may believe in the teachers that preached their teachings and are no more. The others prefer to learn from the fellow students.

Just thought I’d post this up and see if there is a response, or I can go back under the over-sized rock I’ve been hiding under.

Vote Early, Vote Wisely

January 26, 2010

i did my duty, now it's their turn..

Guess, I’ll be breaking radio silence blog silence with urging all of you to vote, as I still see a lot of people reluctant to vote blaming the two candidates and citing many excuses.  It’s your democratic right to vote, no matter if you think one candidate is going to win, and that your vote does not matter. On the other hand if you think both of them are evil, and you shouldn’t be choosing a lesser evil, then send out a clear message, spoil your vote, either way use your vote.

Advice to that weird 16yr old geek

November 30, 2009

My previous post was not a lame attempt at the Tag by Sabbyaz and Angel. Although I must admit the thought crossed my mind, Sabbyaz was on my case. So here goes..

Wait a min. As a firm believer of the Butterfly Effect (watched the movies 1,2 & 3), and given the fact that I wouldn’t want to change anything, given a second chance, I’m the last person to be doing this. 😀 No? Still can’t get away with it? Ok ok.. for real.

Oi Chaar~Max!

How’s it hanging maan? Ha ha.. As always eh?

So remember that letter you published in an Interact Mag, as the future you asking for money to correct mistakes and save the world? Well guess what? The future me, I mean you actually exists. High Five! Ya, ya.. it’s the Time-Space-Continuum thingy Mr. Star Wars.

Ok so basically I’ve gotten my self Tagged to give you a heads up, on what is in store for you. Tagged? It’s one of those things on the net. Blogging. Ya, I know, the Internet has come along way and a lot more people are on it, from the days you hacked into people’s dial-up accounts. About that, T’s gonna get caught, but not like you guys are going to stop anyway.

So getting back, what can I say.. going by all the other advice letters being written, it’s either about girls or boys and broken hearts. So your sorted. Your gonna have neither, and I know your not bothered. Don’t worry about the girls, enjoy your self. There’ll be enough time for them… and the girls who thought you the were the weirdest, out of the lot, end up becoming your best friends. Till then, don’t count on positive recommendations from them. He he.

There are a few bomb shells I’m avoiding dropping on you, but just to save you from the heartache let me tell you. You don’t end up working from a basement, trying to hack into financial institutions. You don’t end up bringing down the Internet, and  sadly you are yet to define a standard for IEEE. But life isn’t bad. Trust me, just that when your around 20 it’ll take a different turn. When I say turn, it’ll end up being an about-turn. This is the best part of your life. Aaand if it’s some consolation, you still retain your Geek status, to a certain extent.

Enough about the Rosey patches. Now to the thorns. Your going to face a lot of tough decisions in the coming years, starting with A/L’s. Ammi’s going to want you to do English. Don’t worry you end up making the right decisions, all through up to now. You’ll walk away from some too. Regret it later, but you made the right decision. It’s all about the risk.. and trusting your conscience.

Your A/L years are going to be the best, in school. You’ll learn stuff way beyond the school curriculum, and will be tested with responsibility. You’ll have loads of fun and cherish every moment of it, coz I still do. But, before you get all your hopes high.. all of it is not going to be a cake-walk. There are going to be some sad moments in your life, when you least expect it. You’ll cry like a baby. But walk away from it a changed man. Don’t think too much about that now, spend as much time with your friends. You’ll do some crazy stuff with them, worth telling your grand children. Those memories will help you get through anything.

Oh and that bike of yours, Kinght Rider.. just because you now know, that you don’t die till your 27 now, doesn’t mean that you can put your self infront of a moving vehicle and do your thing. So go easy on the stunts, I appreciate that all limbs are still attached to me. He he..

Well, I dunno that’s about it I guess. Wouldn’t want to ruin all the fun for you, and I certainly wouldn’t want you doing anything differently. Now I wish I get a letter from an older me, coz I have some damn tough decisions to make. I hope, I’m as lucky as you are.

HAVE FUN ~ GO MAD! (Your fav phrase! Ofcourse I know you.. I’m you, remember!)

Now for the Tagging part. Since most of the Blogsphere seems to be captured according to RD’s graphical analysis, thought I’d open it out to a few hiding below the radar. Dulan and Nazly your it. Now go ahead boys, don’t be shy! 😀

Advice to the 27yr old me

November 23, 2009

If you want to avoid literally wobbling into office on a Monday morning, looking like you got anally retributed over the weekend, for god’s sake man.. cool-down.

I know you thought your fit enough to play Touch Rugby at a somewhat competitive level, but you aren’t. Leave alone the shin problem, the fact that you haven’t hit the gym in over 3 months is a good enough reason. So just like you spent half an hour warming up for the matches, make sure you cool down. You will avoid the pain the morning-after, and the morning-after-after.